You’re not going to believe this, and I will totally not blame you if you don’t, but it happened again today, but this time I got to throw a tackle that would make Jon Lynch stand and salute.
So I’m walking down the sidewalk in the city I’m in today – not the biggest city in the world, but a city. And I see a cop on a horse – when is the last time you saw a cop on a horse? – chasing a dude. The dude is carrying a woman’s backpack/purse thingy, which he clearly had just stolen from one of the restaurant patios lining this street. The thief does a stutter-step/crossover to try and ditch the horse (horses are big and intimidating, but not super-maneuverable on the cut when standing on pavement) and starts hauling tail up the sidewalk straight towards me.
I saw all this, remembered what an absolute pain in the rump it was when I had my purse stolen in a mall in Denver 12 years ago, sized the punk up, determined that he had maybe two inches and maybe a few pounds on me, but not much, squared myself up, lowered my center of gravity, remembered:
1. Trust in God and fear no man
2. Chin up
3. Step up into the tackle and
4. Wrap him up