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from Aesop at Raconteur Report:
If they push things a little harder, VA Gov. “We’re Grabbing Your AR-15s” Northam may only serve 1/2 a term. With a sharp drop at the end.
“For the record, we did not hang Gov. Northam. On the contrary, after we applied hot tar and chicken feathers to his naked body, we simply attempted to see if he could fly. One of our more safety-minded members suggested tying a safety tether to his neck in case it worked. We did so, but unfortunately, his airworthiness was not what he had hoped when he attempted his aerial endeavors. Though we note he did try to kick and propel himself mightily for some minutes after his first launch.”