The Right to Bear News

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Well THAT didn’t take long.

As much as we’d like to say TGIF, at the time of this writing we don’t know what fresh horrors will unfold on Friday to top off the first wretched week of 2016.

The stock market has had its worst opening week in history, wiping out so much wealth that the often mathematically-challenged Bernie Sanders is concerned that there will no longer be a top 1% in our country to rape and pillage. In the Middle East, all of the nations and sects are eagerly choosing sides between Saudi Arabia and Iran for the upcoming Armageddon Bowl, American military personnel are being killed in Afghanistan while the White House refuses to admit that they’re even engaged in combat, and the roly-poly little lunatic leader of North Korea just exploded a hydrogen bomb.

Although reassuringly, Barack “I’m Pretty Much Lying About Everything” Obama has suggested that it might not have been an actual hydrogen bomb, but just a new and improved whopper of a standard atomic bomb. Wow, what a relief!


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