Hammer Time

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Removing any lingering doubts that 2019 might not suck with the intensity of an immense black hole, yesterday Nancy Pelosi again wrapped her claw-like talons around a ceremonial gavel (which she refers to as “my precious”) as she was restored to the lofty position of Speaker of the House of Representatives.

“Let each of us pledge that when we disagree, we will respect each other and we will respect the truth,” said the aging harpy who recently showed her respect for the President of the United States by saying that listening to him was like being sprayed with skunk piss.

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