2/16/2013, 3:52 pm
Ever since the Republican annihilation in the 2012 elections, GOP insiders have been trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel at the bottom of the abyss. According to media experts, there is no hope left for the “Stupid Party” outside of begging for scraps from the triumphant progressive table.
“We need a way to be relevant in the Great Age of Obama,” stated washed-out evil genius Karl Rove. “No thanks to the Tea Party, who turned us into an elephant’s rump faction with such fringe notions as fiscal sanity.”
“If we remain contrite, the Democrats might still let us run some sewerage authorities here and there,” said Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, as he was emptying trash cans outside Harry Reid’s office with the hope to earn a few minutes with Senate Majority Leader.…
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Meanwhile, in other news:
Cardinals Mull Obama Papacy
Vatican insiders today report what is an apparent “testing the water” move by the White House to suggest President Barak Obama as a possible replacement for retiring Pope Benedict XVI.
Father Guido Sarducci, unofficial Vatican spokesman, confirmed that a “highly placed person” in the administration had floated the idea of naming Obama the Vicar of Christ on Earth when Pope Benedict steps down at the end of the month. …
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