Owing to an absolutely unavoidable scheduling conflict involving a critical tee time, Barack Obama has decided to skip Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s funeral on Saturday, but will “pay his respects” on Friday.
According to a highly-placed White House source who may or may not be imaginary, the president was reported to have said “I would have gone, but it’s not like we’re running out of Supreme Court Justices. Hell, we’ve still got eight of ’em! Moreover, if I go to the funeral of one, then they’ll all expect me to come to their funerals. That’s a dangerous precedent I’m not willing to set.”
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